A Certain Day of the Year
by Leoloco
Summary: Murdock just wants to be left alone today. Why? And why not?also in Dutch


A Certain Day of the Year

Murdock sat on the edge of his bed. Why today? He thought, putting his head in his hands. Why? Of all days, every time today. The worst day of the year.

Face had just called him to tell that he was on his way to pick him up. There was another mission for which he was needed.

Usually Murdock was fine with that. Although he liked it in the VA he also needed to go out and be with his friends once in a while. The feeling that he was useful, that feeling appeared to be really necessary for Murdock. On a mission he was important. They could not do it without him.

Of course he knew, however, that sometimes they did a mission without him, but those were never really important missions. They were small assignments in Los Angelos. But when they really needed to go somewhere else for a mission, Murdock was always with them.

Murdock loved these missions; they fulfilled several purposes at the same time. They ensured that he could use all his energy and that he did not forget that there was still a world outside the VA.

But why today? Of course they did not know that today was not a good day, but still. He just wanted to lie on his bed today, to be on his own. He simply wanted to think and see nobody today. Not the nurses, not Dr. Richter, but also not someone of the team. He just wanted to be left alone today.

He wanted to use the day to think of Mai.

He could still see her face in front of him, a beautiful small face with big brown eyes.

He had met her in Vietnam in the village next to the base. She lived with her mother in a small cabin and there she played with the empty cans, left by soldiers on the street. Murdock had seen her a couple of times and had talked with her mother.

They had very little money, so Murdock made a habit of visiting them each week with some food and money. Each time he was welcomed with open arms and treated like a king.

The first couple of times Mai sat still in a corner and she hid herself behind her mother. But later Mai kept coming closer to examine the tall white man in their cabin.

One day, Murdock brought along a little doll for her which he had gotten with some help from Face. When he came in with the usual presents he was asked to sit on the only chair in the cabin, like always. You could hardly call it a chair, once it had been a crate in which grenades had been transported.

Mai crawled to Murdock to examine him from a little closer, and then Murdock pulled the little doll out of his pocket. When he gave it to her, her eyes grew very large and she immediately looked at her mother to show her the new treasure. Her mother got tears in her eyes and looked at Murdock gratefully. As from now he no longer was the king of the cabin, now they saw him as a god.

Still Murdock came by each week, and each week Mai stood waiting for him. When he walked down the corner she ran to him and together they walked to the cabin.

But one day Mai was not there waiting for him. Murdock immediately felt that there was something wrong.

He quickly walked up to the cabin. When he had the cabin in sight, his assumptions were confirmed.

In front of the door a MP was waiting. Murdock ran to the cabin.

What's up? What is going on here? He asked the MP. These people didn't do anything wrong!'

The MP looked at Murdock and said, 'You have nothing to do with this. Please walk on, this matter does not concern you.

Of course Murdock didn't just listen to him. He pushed the MP roughly aside and rapidly he got in the cabin. The MP immediately came after him and seized him in his collar. Murdock suddenly felt a barrel of a gun pressed in his back.

What did I say? You have nothing to do with this!'

Murdock looked around him, what was going on here? He saw two American officers looking at him furiously. Mai sat with her mother on the straw mat near the wall. He did not understand what was going on there.

What are you doing here? Who are you?' asked the man who was standing right in front of Murdock now. Murdock saw that it was a colonel.

I know these people and I wanted to visit them. What are you doing here?'

Murdock suddenly was interrupted in his thoughts; the telephone in his room rang. Only after a couple of seconds he realized where the sound came from and then he walked up to the telephone.

Howling Mad here!' Usually he answered with an imitation of a cartoon character or another figment of his vast imagination, but now he wasn't really in the mood to make any more of it.

Murdock, it's Face', answered the other side of the line. I just wanted to tell you that I'm still coming. I know that I should have been there by now, but it just takes a bit longer. I hope that you can still wait fifteen minutes?

That's ok Face. Don't you hurry'. And he hung up.

Murdock could only hide his mood with difficulty. He really wanted to tell Face that he didn't have to come at all, that he wanted to be left alone today. But he knew that then he would have to explain everything and he didn't want that at all.

Why did they always need him on a mission on this day? The worst day of the year.

Not that this concerns you, but these people are accused of theft. Several times food has been stolen form the base, and other goods. We have been tipped that these two have something to do with that, and that is what we want to find out here.

The colonel pointed to the two on the mat. And it doesn't look good for them. We have found the stolen goods here, in their house.

But, that's right!' Murdock said. 'I have given it to them! These people have done nothing wrong and I just wanted to help them with this! They didn't steal anything, I did!' Murdock uttered.

He looked helplessly at Mai and her mother. The colonel did not seem impressed by his statement.

Captain, it's very noble of you to take the blame for this, but I just don't believe it. You're saying that a captain of the United States Army would steal for two Vietnamese mongrels? Wouldn't that be a very unwise thing to do? Absolutely no captain would ever do something like this, knowing what punishment stands on stealing. No, captain, I don't believe a word of it.'

Murdock understood that the colonel would rather send two Vietnamese to death then admit that one of his own men it done such a thing as stealing

Mai and her mother looked at to the men frightened. They didn't understand anything of what was being said, but they only saw that they kept pointing to the gotten gifts. They did understand that Murdock was in trouble and started to yell at the colonel in Vietnamese to defend Murdock's innocence.

This only made the colonel more irritated, because he could not understand a word of it and because he had already made up his mind about what had happened. These two women had stolen goods. He just couldn't tell anything else at the base.

Murdock realized that Mai and her mother were now in danger. But at that moment the colonel gave the MP the sign that it was now time that Murdock was escorted outside. Immediately Murdock felt the barrel pressed in his back, and he was roughly pushed outside. No matter how he struggled, it was no longer possible to get back inside.

Murdock felt like he had run out on the small Mai and her mother, but he couldn't do anything.

Suddenly he heard a gunshot, followed by hysterical crying. Oh god! Murdock fell on the ground, the gun still pointed at him.

The colonel and his assistant came outside and walked past Murdock without saying a word. The MP turned around and walked away with them. Murdock stayed behind alone. In the cabin still crying was heard. He did not dare to enter, frightened for what he would find there.

He gathered his courage and strength and walked very slowly to the door. He looked inside and saw what he had feared. The body of Mai lay inanimately in the arms of her mother. Everywhere on the ground was blood and Murdock did not know where to look.

He walked up to the woman, he wanted to touch her. But when he approached her, suddenly she looked up at him. Angrily she shouted to him that he did not should come any closer. Immediately Murdock stood still. He continued to stand there, and for a couple of seconds he could no longer move.

Slowly the realization began to sink in. He was the cause of this. This was his fault. Mai's mother knew it and now he knew also.

The woman continued to shout at him that he had to leave immediately. Murdock looked one more time at the small Mai who lay in her mothers arms. Then he turned around and walked back outside.

In the door opening he suddenly felt something soar next to his ear. In the mud in front of him lay the little doll that he once had given to Mai. Her mother no longer wanted to have it in the house. Murdock picked it up and slowly walked back to the base.

When he arrived there, he isolated himself as much as possible and only wanted to be left alone. The rest of the team did not understand what was going on, but they respected his wish. He was left alone. Each year on this day he thought of Mai. And each year he wanted to be left alone.

So why didn't they do that? He never was left alone anymore. Every year there was another mission. Previous year they were in Brazil, helping a man defend his land against a group of thugs. The year before they had to help an old fire station to survive against a group of pyromaniacs and the year before that? Oh, yes. The year before that Face really wanted to take him to a new restaurant in the city on that day.

Murdock smiled inadvertently when he thought back to that dinner. At first he hadn't been in the mood at all, just like today. But eventually Face had still managed to cheer him up.

One way or another the team always had a good effect on his mood. Here in the VA he sometimes had days when everything just seemed too much to bear, but it seemed that that was never the case when he was with the team. Even the times that he had been injured, for example when he took a bullet meant for Hannibal, even then his mood never hit rock bottom.

When he was with the team he felt himself in place. He was part of something, part of the team. He was needed. And he needed the team, he couldn't live without them.

Suddenly he realized. He needed them. Today. Especially on a day like this he needed them. And they knew it. Each year on this day they looked him up or took him along with them. Each year on this precise day he was with the team and each year he managed to survive this day. Also this year this day would pass.

This year he would not be left alone either, but this year he felt good about that. He now knew that the team had been his rescue each day and especially on this day.

He took a deep breath and got up of his bed. He took his bag, put on his jacket and went outside whistling.

This was perhaps the best day of the year.


End file.
